Infertility is a B

Our journey with infertility has been nothing less than emotional. It took us 5 years to get pregnant with Olivia. I decided 10 months ago, I didn't want to wait another 5 years, I just couldn't. So for the last 9 months, I have been on oral fertility meds.
I so desperately want to have another baby. So many may not undertand what it is like because I hear people say, well atleast you have Olivia. Yes, we are very lucky to have our amazing daughter. But I want more, selfish- sure, but I want it.
Clomid (one of the meds) makes me feel pretty terrible. It makes it impossible to lose weight (I lost 65 lbs before I started the meds). Side-effects are endless- dizziness, depression, forgetfullness, blurry vision, hot flashes. It sucks, but if I get a baby out of it, it is worth every second of every side effect. The doctor will only let me be on the meds for 2 more months, then he says my body needs a break from them. The medicine works some months, and others it does not. I have to take tests everyday.
This past month, the medicine worked better than it ever has. So I was convinced it was 'the' month. I found out today that it wasn't. I normally bottle up all of this, but I can't do it anymore. I don't care if everyone reads this, or if no one does. But I need to get it out.
It kills me everytime anyone innocently asks "when are you going to have another?" or when Olivia asks daily for a baby brother or sister. All I can do is smile and say 'We are working on it' because I know they don't realize the struggle we are going through with infertility. It is a daily battle within.
I know other people have much bigger problems, and mine seem fairly insignificant in comparison, so I don't want sympathy, that is why I generally don't talk about it. But I should, or so I have been told. I am praying. Praying hard.